narcissistic ramblings

Thursday, October 30, 2003

ok guys. there is a reason roger ebert is the biggest name in movie critics.. it very well may be that he is the best. he is slightly lenient on tv, but that's besides the point. i read some of his reviews to these movies that have floored me and he is so right on it's uncanny.. maybe it's just that we both see these movies in the exact same way. so i wanted to share another one of his phenomenal reviews with you kind folks.. this one for Lost in Translation. please please please.. please go see this very soon. i hope this convinces you. this is exactly how it is:

He gave it.. ****

The Japanese phrase mono no aware, is a bittersweet reference to the transience of life. It came to mind as I was watching "Lost in Translation," which is sweet and sad at the same time it is sardonic and funny. Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson play two lost souls rattling around a Tokyo hotel in the middle of the night, who fall into conversation about their marriages, their happiness and the meaning of it all.

These conversations can really only be held with strangers. We all need to talk about metaphysics, but those who know us well want details and specifics; strangers allow us to operate more vaguely on a cosmic scale. When the talk occurs between two people who could plausibly have sex together, it gathers a special charge: you can only say "I feel like I've known you for years" to someone you have not known for years. Funny, how your spouse doesn't understand the bittersweet transience of life as well as a stranger encountered in a hotel bar. Especially if drinking is involved.

Murray plays Bob Harris, an American movie star in Japan to make commercials for whiskey. "Do I need to worry about you, Bob?" his wife asks over the phone. "Only if you want to," he says. She sends him urgent faxes about fabric samples. Johansson plays Charlotte, whose husband John is a photographer on assignment in Tokyo. She visits a shrine and then calls a friend in America to say, "I didn't feel anything." Then she blurts out: "I don't know who I married."

She's in her early 20s, Bob's in his 50s. This is the classic set-up for a May-November romance, since in the mathematics of celebrity intergenerational dating you can take five years off the man's age for every million dollars of income. But "Lost in Translation" is too smart and thoughtful to be the kind of movie where they go to bed and we're supposed to accept that as the answer. Sofia Coppola, who wrote and directed, doesn't let them off the hook that easily. They share something as personal as their feelings rather than something as generic as their genitals.

These are two wonderful performances. Bill Murray has never been better. He doesn't play "Bill Murray" or any other conventional idea of a movie star, but invents Bob Harris from the inside out, as a man both happy and sad with his life -- stuck, but resigned to being stuck. Marriage is not easy for him, and his wife's voice over the phone is on autopilot. But he loves his children. They are miracles, he confesses to Charlotte. Not his children specifically, but -- children.

He is very tired, he is doing the commercials for money and hates himself for it, he has a sense of humor and can be funny, but it's a bother. She has been married only a couple of years, but it's clear that her husband thinks she's in the way. Filled with his own importance, flattered that a starlet knows his name, he leaves her behind in the hotel room because -- how does it go? -- he'll be working, and she won't have a good time if she comes along with him.

Ingmar Bergman's "Scenes from a Marriage" was about a couple who met years after their divorce and found themselves "in the middle of the night in a dark house somewhere in the world." That's how Bob and Charlotte seem to me. Most of the time nobody knows where they are, or cares, and their togetherness is all that keeps them both from being lost and alone. They go to karaoke bars and drug parties, pachinko parlors and, again and again, the hotel bar. They wander Tokyo, an alien metropolis to which they lack the key. They don't talk in the long literate sentences of the characters in "Before Sunrise," but in the weary understatements of those who don't have the answers.

Now from all I've said you wouldn't guess the movie is also a comedy, but it is. Basically it's a comedy of manners -- Japan's, and ours. Bob Harris goes everywhere surrounded by a cloud of white-gloved women who bow and thank him for -- allowing himself to be thanked, I guess. Then there's the director of the whiskey commercial, whose movements for some reason reminded me of Cab Calloway performing "Minnie the Moocher." And the hooker sent up to Bob's room, whose approach is melodramatic and archaic; she has obviously not studied the admirable Japanese achievements in porno. And the B-movie starlet (Anna Faris), intoxicated with her own wonderfulness.

In these scenes there are opportunities for Murray to turn up the heat under his comic persona. He doesn't. He always stays in character. He is always Bob Harris, who could be funny, who could be the life of the party, who could do impressions in the karaoke bar and play games with the director of the TV commercial, but doesn't -- because being funny is what he does for a living, and right now he is too tired and sad to do it for free. Except ... a little. That's where you see the fine-tuning of Murray's performance. In a subdued, fond way, he gives us wry faint comic gestures, as if to show what he could do, if he wanted to.

Well, I loved this movie. I loved the way Coppola and her actors negotiated the hazards of romance and comedy, taking what little they needed and depending for the rest on the truth of the characters. I loved the way Bob and Charlotte didn't solve their problems, but felt a little better anyway. I loved the moment near the end when Bob runs after Charlotte and says something in her ear, and we're not allowed to hear it.

We shouldn't be allowed to hear it. It's between them, and by this point in the movie, they've become real enough to deserve their privacy. Maybe he gave her his phone number. Or said he loved her. Or said she was a good person. Or thanked her. Or whispered, "Had we but world enough, and time..." and left her to look up the rest of it.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

i'm doing most of the work now. i'm being a good person.. but oops, breaks in thought equal.. drum roll... bored.com! kris suggested. kristopher with a "k". and there i find anagramsite.com, and my name features very few anagrams, but one cool one is "my dole", which could be talking about bananas or bob.

i think i may skip
my moses class and just do
the work tomorrow


go listen to "i'll
call before i come" - fuckin
learn something, wouldya?

Sunday, October 26, 2003

well i'm sitting in laura's room, listening to a great random collection of oldies, having previously thrown up and currently trying to calm my stomach with a coke (not working). laura is a very cool girl, a girl after my own heart let's say. but what an interesting evening. it deserves a haiku! or five!

the boy is naked
wait in line, people - he ain't
comin out quite yet

shake it shake shake it
like a polaroid picture
hold on to your hat!

kissing cousins are
as sexy as they wanna
be, to me, tee hee

wow, this girl really
knows me - my replacement, hm?
no problem - ICE COLD!

the switch has gone thru
it's do or die now, my friends
no turning back now

Thursday, October 23, 2003

alan has destroyed my blog and is now avoiding me - i get this impression that if he got me pregnant he would just stop talking to me, i'd scream "the baby!.." and he'd go "what baby?" and put his hands over his ears and go "nah nah nah nah nah..." - i'm fo real. i miss my blog. and my fucking comments. someone remind me how to do that.

i hate alan, la dee da dee..

Friday, October 17, 2003

i'm on the list. are you on the list?


www.nrablacklist.com

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

i fell for you like a child..

OHHH

but the fire went wild.

i fell into a burning ring of fire..
i went down down down and the flames went higher
and it burns burns burns..
the ring of fire..
the ring of fire..
and it burns burns burns
the ring of fire
the ring of fire
burns burns burns..

heavy. listen to that song again. the story behind it is a part of one of the greatest love stories in history: johnny cash and june carter cash. it was divulged on this american life a few weeks ago.. go to the website and find it, under the 03 link, it's the first show "what is this thing?", the last story, so click the realaudio link and fast forward about 48 minutes to get to this story.. it's worth it. the rest of the stories are great too. hey. go become a TAL freak like me! it takes you over in the best way.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

i'm reading this book for my religious quest and the human delimma class called the inside story: a narrative approach to religious understanding and truth by paul brockelman and paul quotes a lot of people, he literally wrote only about half this book, and one of the quotes is kind of neat, it's by ninian smart and it goes like this:

life is both strange and commonplace. but for most of the time it is commonplace, and we are not surprised that the world is as it is, for we have no experience of any other modes of existence. the surprises that come our way are only surprises within an unsurprising framework. it may astonish us that henry has suddenly entered a monastery or that the government of france has been overthrown, but henry and monasteries and governments and france are part of the order of things. yet every so often the whole set-up may suddenly strike us as strange. we find ourselves in a universe containing, among other things, france and monasteries: but why should there be a universe at all? why should it contain conscious, rational beings like ourselves? and what is the world really like? are the things we see around us really as they seem to be - bathed in colour and light and shade? or is this only an appearance that our brains and minds foist upon them? such questions arise from, and themselves also supply, the sense of strangeness that can sometimes afflict us. the universe is our home; and yet now and then we look around uneasily, wondering whether all the time it is a stranger's house. out of this unease and strangeness and wonder, science and philosophy spring.

see how long that quote is? that's the kind of quoting paul does.. he did not write this book. it's hilarious. so anyway i liked that whole "we find ourselves in a universe containing, among other things, france and monasteries" thing.. it reminds me of how i tend to go outside of myself, usually in conversation with people, and this may all be a form of ADD, but i suddenly realize during conversation that i am having this conversation, that this person is actually here talking to me, it's very surreal. as if you've just woken up. this happened most significantly during my four hour middle of the night conversation with eli, wherein he told me his life story in all the gory detail the first night we met, and most recently it happened with axel as i was playing his shrink while we were sitting on my bed after he'd smoked pot and i had attempted to smoke pot and apparently a bit got in.. it always screws up my mind-body communication.. verbally that is, before i'd say things seconds after i thought them, too slow and i couldn't help it, and this time i'd say things without considering whether i should or not, or i'd think it, decide not to say it, and say it anyway involuntarily.. it's very strange. still, i am not one for marijuana, i don't particularly enjoy it. alcohol is so much better. at least you have control.

i've gotten on a diet and exercise rampage, so uh, you might want to start dating me now because in a year's time i could be super sexy and i'll be left all along to believe you were in it for my personality. true love.

mystic river comes out tomorrow, i may go see that in the early afternoon depending on the review, which i'm guessing roger moore is going to give 5 stars because it feels like that kind of movie.. sean penn baby.. and clint. clint eastwood. oh yes.

Monday, October 13, 2003

the kill bill soundtrack is so cool

Sunday, October 12, 2003

"i was in heaven, i was in hell, believe in neither but fear 'em as well"

"i had a drink the other day, opinions were like kittens i was givin 'em away"

i gave my dog a bone and now he's a different dog.

i called my mom today because apparently my grandmother's dying, so i guess she's here again, so there's that.


GO SEE KILL BILL. better action than the matrices.


why wouldn't you want to with a name like that? it even rhymes

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

Shit.

i'm revisiting modest mouse because marianna reminded me how great and singable they are on the car ride home and as we sat in the ampitheatre parking lot for literally an hour without moving an inch, it was hilarious. modest mouse is a great band. there were then conjured up all these memories of meghan flocken and built to spill and howerton's journal requirement, which were in two different years but apparently modest mouse was powerful enough to last thru both of them because i was obsessed with cowboy dan because it challenged god in this weird way i hadn't thought of before and i used to write the lyrics out everywhere at school, including the howerton journal, which i don't think she made a comment about. yknow i got away with an enormous amount of pages at the end of that thing by just writing out tons of poetry i loved from that great outlaw american poetry bible alan got me and she commented all to hell on those and i knew she would because i knew the beatniks and the controversial kids would call out to her because she was a PRETENTIOUS ASS WHO DIDN'T RECOGNIZE ME WHEN I CAME TO VISIT/ASK HER WHERE DR. WARNER WAS WHEN DR. OVERBAY DIED that fuckin asshole, who does she think she is? she acted towards me like she thought i was just the most special thing on the planet when i was in her class. i'm pretty sure she was a lesbian under the veil of feminism. is everything about sex?

yes!

hey i had maybe the most sexual dream i've ever had in my life about jon stewart of all people last night. yeah. it was cool though. he wasn't jon stewart the daily show host but he was jon stewart the famous guy still and i saw him on the street as we were both heading to the same.. i dunno, class, meeting, something, and i said some little witty thing that wasn't meant to draw him in but to just make him aware of my appreciation for him and he responded with more than i expected, in that he fell back and started walking and talking with me (as in he was walking in front of me before) and this was all in my old neighborhood in winter park, and we get to this destination and i get to sit nearer to him than the other girls who all want his attentions but i'm one step ahead because we got to be friends on the walk over and so that's great. so this is also perhaps a sleepover thing and jon and i end up sleeping in chairs or maybe a couch next to each other, either way sitting upright, and under this big blanket ! of course, everything in the world happens under blankets, doesn't it? so he really catches me offgaurd, i thought we were just being friendly but he starts making advances and well, it just snowballs. all this time of course i'm aware that he is married in real life. do we see the patterns? melody? stop that? he wound up being a selfish lover, however, which is strange because i really wouldn't imagine him being that way in real life.. he is too self conscious. and a sweetheart. could it be that he was actually meant to represent someone else in my life? hmmmmm but it was just strange because why jon stewart? where is george when you need him and when he's been haunting me for months? i mean yes i love jon, i think he's super sexy, i'd love to be his life partner if he ever gets divorced and we happen to bump into one another on the street, but i don't obsess and lust over him per se... like other people... so who knows? do you know? i don't know.



random modest mouse quotes:

"everyone's a voyerist, they're watching me watch them watch me right now"
"the universe is shaped exactly like the earth, if you go straight long enough you'll end up where you were"
"a wild pack of family dogs came running through the yard and as my own dog ran away I didn't say much of anything at all.. a wild pack of family dogs came running through the yard as my little sister played; the dogs took her away, and I guess she was eaten up, okay"
"cowboy dan's a major player in the cowboy scene, he goes to the reservation, drinks, and gets mean, he goes to the desert, fires his rifle at the sky and says 'god, if i have to die, you will have to die'"
"and the television's off.. go to the grocery store, buy some new friends and find out the beginning, the end, and the best of it, well do you need a lot of what you got to survive? here's the man with teeth like god's shoeshine, he sparkles, shimmers, shines.. let's all have another orange julius, fix her up, stand her in line.. the malls are the soon-to-be ghost towns, well so long, farewell, goodbye..."

funnnnnnn

Sunday, October 05, 2003

well i've seen radiohead now. : )

what a lovely trip. it's long but our drivers were on crack so that was fun and we listened to good music, i let them hear the new Outkast.. which is so freakin good.. i don't listen to big boi's stuff much but ghettomusick is awesome, listening to that right now. so we got there at 3 and had pizza downtown and got back and got great seats on the grass, way up front, met a couple about to get married and get a basset hound, which i couldn't talk them out of, asked people around me what their favorite radiohead song was, watched supergrass who were fine but not very exciting, and by the time radiohead was on the place was filled and it's completely overwhelming to look behind me at i don't know how many thousands of people. the show was sold out and the website says they have parking facilities for 20,000 so i guess that's about how many people were there.. that's intense guys.. that was a lot of heads, i kept looking back and smiling at that, i love that, we're all experiencing this fabulous thing together, so many people's souls and heads and hearts in the same place at once, and we had one moment where everyone got out their lighters, i think during lucky, that was great. here's what they played that i can remember in order of album: just, street spirit (wow), airbag, paranoid android (maybe the greatest moment) , karma police, lucky, everything in its right place, national anthem + idioteque (love these two), morning bell, you and whose army? (there was a camera tight on his face at the piano and he was flicking off the man and pulling them in with his finger on the "come on" parts, it was hilarious), 2+2=5, sit down stand up, sail to the moon, backdrifts, the gloaming (i think?) a punchup at a wedding, and a wolf at the door. AND they gave us TALK SHOW HOST! oh man. so that's a quick show, a little under 2 hours with count them TWO encores, but they covered their stuff really well, i guess they don't like pablo honey anymore but oh well, and they didn't play the two songs i really wanted, fake plastic trees and let down, but i kind of expected that. it was a great show. they sounded fantastic. the light show was great. the show on the screens around the stage were great. thom danced around and it was incredibly cute. and he was funny and we got to clap during the gloaming, assuming that that's the track with the claps on hail to the thief, i can't remember and i don't have it with me right now to check.. and the crowd was great and it was so fantastic to hear everyone singing along to karma police and just and all that great older stuff. hey! i love radiohead! it was a very good time. noodle salad.