i'm reading this book for my religious quest and the human delimma class called the inside story: a narrative approach to religious understanding and truth by paul brockelman and paul quotes a lot of people, he literally wrote only about half this book, and one of the quotes is kind of neat, it's by ninian smart and it goes like this:

life is both strange and commonplace. but for most of the time it is commonplace, and we are not surprised that the world is as it is, for we have no experience of any other modes of existence. the surprises that come our way are only surprises within an unsurprising framework. it may astonish us that henry has suddenly entered a monastery or that the government of france has been overthrown, but henry and monasteries and governments and france are part of the order of things. yet every so often the whole set-up may suddenly strike us as strange. we find ourselves in a universe containing, among other things, france and monasteries: but why should there be a universe at all? why should it contain conscious, rational beings like ourselves? and what is the world really like? are the things we see around us really as they seem to be - bathed in colour and light and shade? or is this only an appearance that our brains and minds foist upon them? such questions arise from, and themselves also supply, the sense of strangeness that can sometimes afflict us. the universe is our home; and yet now and then we look around uneasily, wondering whether all the time it is a stranger's house. out of this unease and strangeness and wonder, science and philosophy spring.

see how long that quote is? that's the kind of quoting paul does.. he did not write this book. it's hilarious. so anyway i liked that whole "we find ourselves in a universe containing, among other things, france and monasteries" thing.. it reminds me of how i tend to go outside of myself, usually in conversation with people, and this may all be a form of ADD, but i suddenly realize during conversation that i am having this conversation, that this person is actually here talking to me, it's very surreal. as if you've just woken up. this happened most significantly during my four hour middle of the night conversation with eli, wherein he told me his life story in all the gory detail the first night we met, and most recently it happened with axel as i was playing his shrink while we were sitting on my bed after he'd smoked pot and i had attempted to smoke pot and apparently a bit got in.. it always screws up my mind-body communication.. verbally that is, before i'd say things seconds after i thought them, too slow and i couldn't help it, and this time i'd say things without considering whether i should or not, or i'd think it, decide not to say it, and say it anyway involuntarily.. it's very strange. still, i am not one for marijuana, i don't particularly enjoy it. alcohol is so much better. at least you have control.

i've gotten on a diet and exercise rampage, so uh, you might want to start dating me now because in a year's time i could be super sexy and i'll be left all along to believe you were in it for my personality. true love.

mystic river comes out tomorrow, i may go see that in the early afternoon depending on the review, which i'm guessing roger moore is going to give 5 stars because it feels like that kind of movie.. sean penn baby.. and clint. clint eastwood. oh yes.