so i may have sort of gotten accepted into the UCF film school after my first attempt.. kinda makes me happy. 22 out of 200 or something. here's the script whose sample got me there again for alan. let me know if you can't get in and i'll try to fix it. i expect a report back on that music v.soon btw. also, i'm not deleting this blog because i won't know how to save all the shit i've put on it, but i'm switching primarily over to livejournal.. yea.. i know. i'm such a sellout. but it's so much funner.

Hunter S. Thompson Commits Suicide at 67.

what's going on... god

omg first qaf ensemble vid i've ever found.. and it has changed my life.. i know this isn't where i post these things but OMG OMG OMG can someone help me i am still slightly high from last night (seriously, wtf) and i think it's bringing out all of my truths, quite fascinating, and anyway this vid is so wondrous i must share it with the world. well, jessica and jenn anyway. it is to a *gulp*.. savage garden song.. called "affirmation", and at first you hate the song and then you just can't help but love the song because omg you love the queer as folk. so. here are the lyrics. here is where to find the vid. do with them what you will.

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold

I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse TV evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

http://www.kitzeproductions.net/qaf/vids.html

i just wanted to post something while i was experiencing this.. this is crazy. i forgot how much i reacte to this. unfortunately there are the sounds of a dog behind me and my tongue is slightly numb and i keep going in and out of reality and fantasyland, i can't complete a thought very quickly. this has taken like 4 minutes to write. shit i may start laughing. my body keeps getting numb and tingly, i'm trying to force myself to remember my former self telling me what to type here or what i should be doing right now, but again.. this is like two minutes later.. i have hardly stayed on this thought. dammit. damnit. shit i was wrong about that wasn't i? damnit. so i just made an ass out of myself to jessica, and continue to do so (this was now right after a several minute break.. wao another break has gone by.. i'm trying to concentrate on this thing but i just can't. typing about half the speed as normal.. ok i'm about to get myself into a crazy ass conversation i'm not ready to have. this is going to be such a mistake tomorrow. oh my god. here i go.

god, morrissey's new album, You Are the Quarry, is so good. who makes better music at the end of their career? this is crazy. you must go now and listen to the two songs i'm addicted to from it: You Know I Couldn't Last and Come Back to Camden, and read the lyrics for the latter while you listen to it, sooo pretty..

There is something I wanted to tell you
it’s so funny you’ll kill yourself laughing
but then I look around
and I remember that I am alone / alone / forevermore

The tile yard, all along the railings
up a discoloured dark brown staircase
here you’ll find / despair and I
calling to you with what’s left of my heart / forevermore

Drinking tea with the taste of the Thames
sullenly, on a chair on the pavement
here you’ll find / my thoughts and I
and here is the very last plea from my heart / forevermore

Where taxi drivers never stop talking
under slate-grey Victorian sky
here you’ll find / despair and I
and here I am every last inch of me’s yours / yours / forevermore

Your leg came to rest against mine
then you lounged with knees up and apart
and me and my heart
we knew / we just knew
forevermore

Where taxi-drivers never stop talking
under slate-grey Victorian sky
here you’ll find / my heart and I
and still we say “come back / come back
to Camden and / I’ll be good”

My love,
Wherever you are,
Whatever you are,
Don't lose faith.
I know it's gonna happen someday
To you.
Please wait . . .
Please wait . . .
Wait . . .
Don't lose faith.

You say that the day
Just never arrives
And it's never seemed so far away.
Still I know it's gonna happen someday
To you.
Please wait . . .
Don't lose faith

ohhh my i love morrissey now. he is like crack cocaine or something. it's crazy. i'm thinking of starting a religion based around him. check out! I Have Forgiven Jesus: !!

I was a good kid, I wouldn't do you no harm, I was a nice kid, With a nice paper route
Forgive me any pain, I may have brung to you, With God's help I know, I'll always be near to you
But Jesus hurt me, When he deserted me, but, I have forgiven you Jesus
For all the desire, You placed in me when there's nothing I can do with this desire

I was a good kid, Through hail and snow, I'd go just to moon you, I carried my heart in my hand
Do you understand, Do you understand

But Jesus hurt me, When he deserted me, but, I have forgiven you Jesus
For all of the love, You placed in me when there's no one I can turn to with this love

Monday - humiliation, Tuesday - suffocation, Wednesday - condescension, Thursday - is pathetic
By Friday life has killed me, By Friday life has killed me, Oh pretty one, Oh pretty one

Why did you give me so much desire, When there is nowhere I can go to offload this desire?
And why did you give me so much love in a loveless world, When there is no one I can turn to
To unlock all this love?
And why did you stick me in self deprecating bones and skin?, Jesus do you hate me?
Why did you stick me in self deprecating bones and skin?
Do you hate me?, Do you hate me?, Do you hate me?, Do you hate me?, Do you hate me?



ohh man! and of course Unhappy Birthday:

I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
cuz you're evil and you lie
and if you should die
i may feel slightly sad
but i won't cry

and then he has a song called You're the One for Me, Fatty! can there be anything better than that? no. the answer is no.

alright, i'm going to sit in a chair and you're all going to line up and bop me on the head with some blunt object until i become LESS FUCKED UP. hello life drama, welcome back. how was your trip? FUCK OFF, YOU BASTARD. *collapses* (a thousand good wishes to the genuinely nice boy who never was.) i need a cigarette.