axel,
i understand. i really do. i know those desperate grabs at hope and whatever else you may think is fleeting.. and other people never feel like they understand because they just don't live inside your head. and that's true. we'll never completely know - but we just wanted to make sure you weren't going to somehow hurt yourself in the long run - of course i am one who does nothing out of fear of hurting myself, probably hurting myself more - so i say go for it. do what you think you should and just deal with whatever consequences.. it's probably better that way. also you never want to live questioning whether you should've done something. so there is the big picture. good luck. that was all about the billy situation. now the parents situation. same applies. no matter how hard it gets, for however long, could be 20 years of them not talking to you, but it's still better than living a lie.. and it is living a lie. don't lie to yourself. don't cop out by saying they know but are scared.. take a stand. think about the gay rights movement. be a role model for gay youths everywhere. you have plenty of cheerleaders at your side no matter what the outcome. think about it. your mom will probably be upset but still talk to you and love you.. your dad may be harder, as it sounds, and distance himself for a while, maybe something more drastic.. but in time they both will get over it. they always do. this isn't the 1800s. and even then people got over it. it's not going to be easy, but nothing that is worth anything in life is. think about how much better everything will be after they've gotten over it and accepted you and you guys can all talk casually about whatever's going on in your life.. think about how amazing that would be. i think so anyway. let me know when you decide.

lovemelo