alright let's try this again. i tried posting the other day and the damn oveido public library again erased it (mixture of anger at them and embarrassment that i didn't remember that). i don't have as much to say this time around. (famous last words)

it's my first day back at school and i have a class in 35 minutes and i have to leave in 20 minutes and it's a nice but kind of uncomfortable cold here today.. and my neck has spasmed or something worse than these past months of mild pain and now Really Hurts so i feel like frankenstein walking down the street here and not feeling cool and poised and whatever image i'd like to put off among these, my peers. i hate being around peers i guess. i know they don't care, but you feel like they do.. you feel like they're watching you and judging you. i'd like to become completely invisible except for maybe my eyes and just walk around in sunglasses and not worry what they thought of me but be glad that they're still aware i'm there so they wouldn't run into me. i'm wearing a cute outfit but i don't feel cute. i've taken on the persona of bridget jones without the feigned self-esteem. it'll come soon enough. when the neck pain goes away.

axel i have presents for you. and i'm sure you've gone home. and i'm sure alan and drew have gone home and i was going to give them to them to give to you and now you must wait for yeahs and yeahs. but congradulations on billy. is he kind as well as smart and intelligent? : ) i think the perfect equation might be kind, smart, attractive. and yes i know you don't even need that much, but if you have that.. isn't that all there is?

oh well funny is nice as well. kind smart attractive funny? oh i don't know.

but yes i want to meet billy.. and i'm very very happy for you because new relationships are so very fun and exciting. i understand the beauty of waking up next to someone.. but there's also this ideal dreamlike state of first holding their hand - and getting excited by something as simple as that.. that's bliss, isn't it? and look, that's even the word you used. ; )

AFI gave the "best film of 2001" award to the lord of the rings.. that makes me very happy.. i now think i want to see it again, this time with my dad and brother.. i think they'd really enjoy it. it's great when movies like that come out. i keep remembering it and smiling. and wanting to share it with more people. rarely does a PG-13 impress me quite so much. i hope they all realized what they really accomplished.

alan send me that blast-from-the-past conversation when you find it, send it to melo@usa.com.

i don't know when the next time i'll have access to AIM will be. so see you all here and there.

lovemelo