ok can i just tell you that when i looked and saw i had an extra comment my expectation that is would be MARCUS SOBERING were about as high as say.. Wayne Newton.  wtf.  i honestly don't believe it's really him.  and here's why:

who was i to marcus sobering in high school that he would feel at all inclined to look me up and find me out somehow?  i don't think i ever registered with him as a significant anything.  sure, he always stuck out in my mind.  a brief crush there for a minute, and then a brief but blaring "holy shit what an asshole" moment, but mostly just good times.  he's been mentioned here a few times in relation to my obsessive dreams about brian lacey.. so hm.. can you search these things for mention of your name?  i have no idea how shit works.

so that seems good enough reason that it's not really him, but there's enough reason that it is too, this is troubling.. for one thing, what he said sounded exactly like what marcus sobering would say.  i recall the most meager, to-the-point messages in yearbooks, etc.  and who in sam hell would come here and impersonate marcus sobering?  i don't think i've ever mentioned him to anyone so who would know that they could come and impersonate him and fuck me up?  my feathers are ruffled anyway.  jesus!  so please comment again and tell me if it's really you and what the fuck you're doing here man, not like i want you out but just like.. wuh..huh..what?  also, i'd love to talk to you about brian lacey. : )  my email's melojyellow@juno.com if you're interested.  btw, you're invited to my birthday party, august 7th, and if you can bring brian lacey you'll become my personal god.. i've gone off the deep end now, i feel like i'm talking to no one.

ok back to normal fare.. fan fiction has exploded all over me like some fresh brian kinney cum.  because that's what it is.  and more of course.  but where would i be without the hot brian kinney sex?  a dead, dry heap of sexless nothing.  if you can't fuck in your head, where can you fuck?!  see i start talking like him.  hehe, kinney cum sounds like a product.. or like how little kids would pronounce "candy corn" for a while.  hahhaha

so fan fiction.  queer as folk fans are apparently, some of them, also fantastic writers and so they've given me the greatest little short stories that blow my socks off.  and they're fuckin hot.  bjfic.net is all about brian and justin and "maps & legends" is just about the greatest thing i've ever read.  there's a ridiculously sexy scene in each chapter pretty much and the story as a whole is startlingly true to the characters, i almost wonder if the show could send out scouts to check this stuff out and hire some new writers for the show because it could definitely improve.  i wonder about writing my own fan fiction.. i'm worried tho because the two chicks that wrote maps&legends are fuckin amazing and i don't think i could measure up.  i have to get in the mood and i may take a shot tho.  i think the steps one must take to enter into a writing profession need to be a little smaller for me.  i think big first - screenplays - and get scared shitless and then just do nothing.  but i was watching Amelie tonight and saw how she rewrote that old love letter for that lady downstairs, and that made me think there are tons of little writing projects like that that could be really interesting.  it doesn't have to be for something, but i could just give myself an example and just try it.  letters sound like a good place to start.  make it from someone else's point of view, be creative.  of course if we're talking things that may really get me writing it's got to be a letter from justin to daphne or somebody about how amazing his last fuck with brian was.. hey now.