"i really do feel that i'm dying.
i really do feel that i'm dead.
i saw it in your eyes, what i'm looking for.
i saw it in your eyes, what'll make me live."
ok you now have 24 hours to download rufus wainwright's "the tower of learning" and comment on it or i'll never speak to you again.

i have spent something like 10 hours total putting together my ultimate party mix for my birthday party.. five cds and something like 6.5 hours of musical marvels, glorious. i'm excited about the education. ok so i could be a teacher. but it would have to be an off the wall subject like that, music education, movie education, and i just make them listen to and watch all my favorite stuff so i can infiltrate their little brains and take over the WORLD!! mwahaha. because i'm right about everything, you know. it's a burden that i alone bear.

so hurray for john edwards, go two johns. they could be a rap duo. 2-Jonz. here's your daily headfuck: johnny depp is 40 years old, tom cruise is 50, wait, fuck, imdb.com says he's 42 like four days ago.. (happy birthday, tommy), ok that's not sensational - but johnny, cmon, ok but here's the kicker ! - john edwards is, somehow, according to his website mind you! FIFTY-ONE!!! 51! HOW CAN THIS BE!??! he doesn't look a day over 15! we all thought he was too young and innocent to be president but it turns out he's older than clinton was! so now we have to deal with the idea of john edwards - possibly maybe - that's right, i'll say it, dying his hair. my dad thinks he's keanu reeves' character in the devil's advocate. i see it, without all the "satan's my papa" stuff. good luck boys.

if someone knows of a close-by, well-paying job where i can get a bit of a workout let me know so i don't have to get up at 5 to make bagels or get robbed at a gas station. somebody.

marlon brando died. shit. i know that was days ago but it was right after my probably last kennel job fell thru and i was not too bummed because i was only there for one day and then i heard about brando and i couldn't stop thinking about james dean and everything just sank. godammit marlon. such a self-indulgent bastard. but so entertaining, and jesus he like set the bar for all film actors to come afterwards, he changed the whole style from dramatic to natural. he was thought to be the greatest screen actor of last century.. man. so i stayed in all night watching E! true hollywood stories and stuff like that about him, he was probably a crazy jerk but so was james dean and i always get sad thinking about what james could've been, and now what marlon could've been if he lived differently. who cares, he made an unbelievable splash in his first five years - being nominated for best actor three years in a row!! did you know he started the black leather jacket rebel look? that's lasted a bit. my last impression of him was dancing on the tropical island with faye dunaway in the adorable don juan demarco, he looked happy. so now i really need to see the godfather.. and on the waterfront. but you know i truly loved his scenes in apocalypse now, great movie, freaky ending, it's really powerful. he was mesmorizing. wouldn't it be fun to run into him in heaven and he's back to his sexy 50's self, riding around on a motorcycle in his black leather jacket like in the wild ones, grabbing hot dames and throwing them on back. makes me smile. i miss you, marlon brando.