i have finally done the thing i've been meaning to do for four years. i bought Ok Computer on cd. woo. possibly my favorite album of all time and i've been too poor to ever buy it because i had it on tape. but then the tape died. so i was forced out, and with some money now, it all worked. gosh it's a good album. and i took the liberty to buy my first jazz album: miles davis' bitches brew. woo it's a good album. really really really. i listened to it while studying for a sociology exam and the exam felt real easy this morning, finished in under 15 minutes, i think jazz makes you smarter. i'm convinced. i got it because some magazine had broken down radiohead's new album amnesiac and described what famous album each song reminded them of and one of my favorite songs reminded them of bitches brew. so there you go. and it's full of really exciting crazy crescendo-ing madness. feels like a jack kerouac novel sometimes. "blow that thang!" it's Wonderful.

the most ridiculous, cheesy, terrible, cornball, retarded thing ever: russel crowe's band and their video. ohhh my. wow. it's atrocious. and the cheeseball acting by sir russel in his own damn music video! hello mr. academy awards! wow.. and then directly afterwards to see a great video, interesting - coldplay's trouble. i love that video. reminds me of the smashing pumpkins "tonight, tonight" or whatever it's called. i love the tornado effect.. i need to see the wizard of oz again, i'm thinking. it's probably been a decade.

in the morning, in the mo-o-rning, it's GREAT! to stay up late - good morning, good morning, to you (and you and you and you) woo

i saw serendipity tonight. great movie. no really. i loved it. i expected it to be dumb because, well, romantic comedies usually are, and that silly kate beckinsale woman appeared in PEARL HARBOR, the horrific movie that will live in infamy, but i had kind of forgotten how great john cusack's taste is.. because he appeared in American Sweethearts.. which was really not that good. (except for the scene i die for all movies/tv to have: waking up in the morning next to whomever and hiding morning breath instead of making out some more. finally) well serendipity is a wonderful funny fun little movie.. only an hour and twenty five minutes long. and john's fantastic. and so is that pcu guy. and i'm so very in love with john. i mean really. he's been an obsession before.. but i never quite gave him what he deserves. megan had a plan to move to chicago, his home, and run into him and marry him. what a great idea. she's about 10 years ahead of her age anyway. john now gives me butterflies. he's got it. and i loved the movie but i got out of the theater feeling a little odd. i didn't know what to call it. miles was on in the car but it didn't feel right.. and i didn't have any choice but to put on ok computer, but it was too down for this happy movie, but i listened to it anyway.. um.. for a little bit it was that weird after-good-movie high where you don't really feel anything that's going on around you. strange jittery feeling, butterflies, blank stares while driving - seeing weird things in shadows and lights, maybe people? i hallucinate while driving at night, i think. it's a little unnerving. then this weird dryness that settled into this depression, kind of sad-tired. i want this love stuff, i want to skip all the bullshit and just get to the love stuff. no i don't really. anything would do probably. and a first-last-only thing doesn't sound fun. i'm not a bible character. it just takes for e ver. i'm tired. life is tiring. i'm tired. i need something. where is it? when is it? hello?

there was this moment tonight when i was sitting at the table doing my reading-the-paper-friday-ritual thing and jordan's music is always on in his bedroom lowly and i heard this really gorgeous song.. and he's on the computer and all lights are off in the back rooms and i just got up and stepped into his doorway in the dark and listened to this new wonderful Live song on the radio - overcome. wow, that's nice. there was a wonderful stillness.

cherry mountain dew can now be purchased in two liters and 12-pack cans. oh yeah. it's comin' up in the world. don't trust nobody.

lovemelo