i know i'm supposed to be quitting but whenever i'm at work and he's not there and then all of a sudden he's there, he's popped in for something unexpectedly, there is elation like nothing else. does anyone understand how much of a turn on eye contact is? well we've got it. sometimes i really think he knows. we lock eyes when we say goodbye, smile a little, and then he's outside and i somehow fade back into work with this buzz that lasts about ten minutes. today i had to smack my cheeks a little. fuck.