ok so here's the thing - i might be going to new york on valentines day weekend for the war protest. i've signed up for the bus that ucf is paying for. i have one and possibly a second slot reserved on that bus.. it costs me $25 because i'm a ucf student, then we found out it costs everyone else $110, and now jenn, who was my gung-ho girl, can not come. this is trouble. it's a bit of a grueling trip, leave 10am friday, drive 18 hrs through the night, arrive 9-10am saturday, run around the city for a couple of hours, protest at noon-5-6pm, dinner with the gang 6-7pm, leave 8-9pm, drive 18hrs straight back, arrive dinner time sunday.. that's a heavy trip. probably no chance for a shower, which is annoying but do-able. it would be a long ride, it would be hard to leave the city so soon, but it's also a trip to new york, albeit short, for under $100 altogether, for me. jenn is not in the correct position, i understand that, i just wish she would've thought logically from the beginning and didn't get my hopes up, because, my friends, they're up right now. i mean this is a serious set-back, but yesterday, as much as i kept telling myself that this still may not happen, i was pretty sure it was going to, and i was preparing for it. i was incredibly excited, even quietly. i told barbara i couldn't work that weekend and everything.. this is the closest i've come to doing anything huge like this and i just couldn't believe it might all work out..it still might, but there's this boulder in my way now. i am semi prepared to go alone, though that doesn't sound nearly as fun and i didn't really want to walk around new york alone..i'd probably hook up with people on the bus, though i feel like a traitor to the cause because it seems they're 70 for the protest and 30 for new york, and i'm more like the other way around...i'm not necessarily going to stay at the protest the whole 5-6 hours..i'd be in fucking new york. a dream for several years now and not one that i'd expect to achieve in the next few years, just because it's such a big trip and besides my gay uncle i don't have anyone to stay with..i don't really know my gay uncle..it's awkward. um. so hey, does anyone want to go to new york with me for 11 hours? the bus is $110 and everything else is extra, but it's not like we're staying overnight, you just have to pay for food and i guess subway fare (oh man)...the world is tilting a little for me right now..how can i pass up an opportunity like this? i get to see this city of my dreams for under $100...when does one get to do something like this? once in a lifetime maybe. dammit. i still haven't talked to jessica..she may just want to drive up there and not pay for bus fare, which i'd be more than willing to do..my dad was very worried for several days about me getting arrested or killed or something but now i think he's seen the light..but if someone doesn't go with me he'll be much less up for this whole thing. ok. this all sounds selfish -> see thru that crap and think of going to new york with melo. ok