i know the disappointment of going on kid's blogs and finding no new updates and i don't want you kids to go through that, it's hard enough in this world. i need to put more little things, and not call it just filler, just little thoughts that have been passing thru me, like:

isn't it nice how perfectly hands fit together? it can be your's and someone else's, or your's together, hands are just nice and meant for each other.

i'm listening to kenna. and in the car it's nine inch nails every day. and in the bathroom it's jeff buckley. and my brother recently downloaded that chevelle album we all freaked out about a few years ago so i got to reminisce (i want blogger to have spellcheck), but i don't really like it much anymore. i used to think their new stuff wasn't nearly as good as the old, but it's really very similar to the old, so they're not that special, but it's ok, i had a good time with them for a while. so are the guys in chevelle christian or not? didn't juan discover them on rock night on 88.3? i feel like i remember that, and that's the only story that's gotten my brother to listen to them, because i told him they're like a christian tool, and jordan really misses tool, so this is his way to listen to an albeit kind of shitty tool, but at least he gets a taste. i saw the first, self-titled foo fighters album, used, at park ave cds at ucf today for $8.. i may go back for it. they're a great band, but a lot of their new songs aren't very interesting. that new single they have, the 'it's times like these..' song, that's a pretty...unoriginal song, it's flatly life-affirming, everyone makes songs like that.. but the guys aren't quite so sex drugs and rock n roll anymore.. the drummer isn't a heroin addict anymore and most of them seem to be with steady girlfriends/fiancees/wives..it puts an understandably different spin on things. the beauty of the foo fighters is that they can make these seemingly simple rock songs that don't seem to fall under any category other than general rock, and they're simple, but they're strangely great, they're catchy and a lot of people go for them, they make you feel good, but they're not dumb. like "my hero" or "everlong". they're a nice addition to the music world.

you know what's sad? all the cds i lost in my early teens. i had so many cds that were thrown away/destroyed by my mother and not all of them were great, it was like less than jake, reel big fish, goldfinger, but then i had all of 311's first five albums, and i'd like to hear some of that every now and then, and i had pearl jam's ten, and i didn't get into that at all, i picked it as filler with one of those columbia house 15 cds for a penny deals (which we never paid, oops) but i'm getting into pearl jam a little now and it would've been helpful. and one of my first cds ever was the bodygaurd soundtrack which i was thinking about the other day, i don't think she destroyed it, i think she maybe just stole it.. whitney is awesome on that thing, i listened to "queen of the night" all the time. that and celine dion's power of love were the very first cds i ever got, for christmas right after i got my first cd player. 3rd or 4th grade. good times.

let me tell you a story from that apartment, in tulsa, the place was called..starts with a b.. i'll ask my dad when he walks out here in a minute.. benchmark. it's still there, the code to get in the gate used to be 911, but i doubt it is anymore. it had a pool that felt a million miles away walking, it was a big place, hills, a creek with cat's somethings..those tall weeds near the water with the bushy brown soft things at the tip of it.. they're so soft, i used to go down there and touch them all the time. we built a snowman down there once, and my brother and the boys in the neighborhood had sled races, i guess the hill was far enough away from the creek or they would've flown straight into it. we had two turtles there, shelby and shelby 2, i don't remember what happened to shelby 2, but shelby ran away and days later, after not giving up hope, we found him clear on the other side of benchmark, almost to the gate to exit in the front, we were way in the back of that place. we saw a squashed turtle in the middle of the road and looked down to find it was shelby. we knew it was him because we had put a mark on his back with pink nail polish. it was a sad day.
my closest friend there was a boy a year younger than i was that lived next door, he had a little black weener dog, his name was aaron colby, he was a fantastic gymnist. he could do aerials, which i thought was amazing. he was a little chubby, full of life, he would hang out with my brother and i and we'd fight over his attentions. i had a crush on him apparently. one day, to my heart's delight, we were playing some mission impossible type game that involved hiding and running and we were crouched down hiding and when we had to set off running, he grabbed my hand and we fled across the street. i was on fire. later my cousin lesli and i, who at that time was fatter than i was, were walking around and around the block and aaron apparently had a crush on her, or me, he kept making fun of us, finally he called her fat, or me fat, i can't remember now, and my brother, who was wearing this big fuck off pair of cowboy boots, kicked him real hard in the balls. aaron made a silent scream and fell to the ground, grabbing his crotch. it was really terrible. we were worried there was serious damage. still though, the lesson learned was my brother cared enough about us that he defended us in our hour of need.. it was bizarre. this is during the period where i hated him. i lost interest in aaron a little while after that and about two years ago i found out lesli still knew him, they went to school together, and she was going to call him and we were going to meet up.. a most bizarre situation if there ever was one. so we met up. he looked similar. he was not so much into gymnastics now as much as theatre. yes, aaron is gay now. i feel like we asked him and he denied it, but he definitely is. i can't remember what exactly happened. it was very strange seeing this kid for the first time in 9 years. we brought him back home with us and played trivial pursuit with my brother, who apologized once again for kicking him in the balls, we all laughed. it is a strange world.