when did this stop being a journal and start being an update thing?

i'm supposed to write what i "feel.......".. well i'm tired of that, especially after watching pi again, it's hard to feel throughout that movie..unless your head is hurting thru his. i'm very afraid of those headache/seizures. darren aronofsky apparently uses similar techniques in each of his movies.. the quick movements, like in pill popping, and the "Fear cam" where it's hooked up to the actor.. alright then. it doesn't seem as special now. if he does that with batman i'm going to laugh outloud.

so i saw jonah sunday night.. which was amazing. and everytime i see him now i'm getting less and less excited and i think that somehow this time won't feel as good.. and then it always does. and i got to tell him something like that. how i rarely listen to his music anymore, but whenever i see him it all comes back to me, like being reminded of something of yourself in the past. and it's a really good feeling. i still love his music. and this time he was even funny. he did this hilarious rendition of a madonna song performed by (his imitations) his dream team at the grammies or something.. which is madonna, jeremy enoch, a duo of haley joel osment and simon birch, and finally, yes, james hetfield. it was hysterical. everyone lu lu loved him. (i've been watching a lot of john leguizamo's sexaholix). and jenn and i are completely addicted to foose ball (sp?) - not because joey and chandler are.. because it's so damn fun. it's amazingly fun. so now i have a new goal of owning a foose ball table. and they had a great juke box at will's pub that had old far and james brown and tool and outkast and barry white and all of these great people.

i'm starting a nightly (6 a week or so) regiment of walking the hadaway's dog. i love this dog. and we both need exercise. and she's a great walking dog. so that's a good thing.

i smoked pot for the first time with kristin monday night. ah, caught ya off gaurd didn't i?

well it wasn't that great because it just made me extremely tired, but apparently not enough to go to sleep, and i wasn't in control and that didn't feel good, even though i thought it might.. and the back of my neck was really hot.. and i got really hungry, which is never all that useful. and i wanted to leave and gorge myself but i didn't feel like i could drive, until like 4 hours later..which still felt sketchy..so no i didnt enjoy it. which i guess is good because if i had i would've probably abused it to escape my problems.. and that apparently isn't a good idea, according to historical documents. so i think that's the end of melody and marijuana.

and i've managed, all of sudden, to get this great job basically babysitting this girl with rhuematoid arthritis that pays $8/hr and is from 2:30 to 10:30 or 12:30 every weekday. so that's a lot of hours. and a lot of money. and very little effort. this after playing phone tag with the lady for nearly a week. and reflecting on how oddly hard it is for me to find a real job. i guess this wouldn't be classified under "real job" though. with taxes and time clocks and all that. but i'm lucky. by god. the only thing is her place strongly resembles a garbage heap...and that kind of dirtiness makes me very uncomfortable. so i think i'll steadily start cleaning everything starting tomorrow.. oh boy. it's an amazing property, though.. big two story wooden house that's like a futuristic cabin looking thing..on a lake, but between the house and the lake are poorly-kept sheds and shrubs and trees and piles of junk and gnats and all of these unsavory things.. so i will come to the rescue, and we'll turn their property into what it deserves to be. mhm. $8 an hour baby.

lovemelo