i'm very very very into great danes right now.

quick thought: line from song i like: "i hate the way we expect to fail. and then we fail. and then we get bitter because we failed."

see, i've been really interested in danes for about a year, following my "the bigger the dog, the better" mantra.. well you can't get much bigger than danes. and that's a severe understatement. these are dog/horses. small ponies. i am freaking in love with them. so i've had this fantasy goal for a while of one day living alone in an apartment with my black or blue male great dane and he could just be my life partner for a while and we'd live happily ever after. i've longed for a dog since i got rid of my last one in second grade. well i'm going to remedy this situation the moment i'm able to. there aren't many apartments/condos that accept large pets, but there are a few, and the harder search will be worth it, i'm sure. there's one off of university near ucf, and there's one behind the blockbuster on red bug, so i had this dream last night (finally a happy future dream) of living back there with my dane and i'd walk him up to blockbuster all the time and i'd be afraid to leave him alone tied outside because someone might steal him (he wears a sign around his neck that says "i'm friendly" so people won't hesitate to pet him) so the blockbuster workers (who know me by now) let him sit right inside the door where they can play with him (they get all excited whenever we stop by) and then we go lie on the couch and watch movies.. what a life.

but see i had never seen one in real life.. but i'm driving my brother and his friend home yesterday and i mention danes and the girl says their friend has one, so we go over to their friend's house and theirs (actually a dane/rhodesian ridgeback mix - how incredible) is away at the moment but ALL IS NOT LOST and she leads us over to a neighbor's house who have TWO and we get to play with them and ask all sorts of questions for like half an hour. and jesus, the male, dreyfuss, is freaking huge. i wasn't actually prepared for a dog that big, to tell you the truth. i've seen them on tv, i've seen pictures. tons of pictures. but they're much bigger in real life. and so i was blown away and after the initial shock and slight fear at this gargantuan barking dog, i fell completely in love with both of them.. the girl, gracie, is black and slender and looks just like an oversized lab..dreyfuss's head is as big as a watermelon. gracie is all legs and kisses. they're nearly 6 feet long when they lie down, it's incredible. there is no bending to pet them..such a different feeling. so you look at these dogs, and you love them, and you almost have to laugh at every other dog because they're so tiny in comparison. i mean there is no other dog like them.. so how, i ask, could i be satisfied with any other breed now that i've got the dane bug?

so now i'm a little obsessed. they're all i've been thinking about since i left them. i went back this afternoon to get the number of the people she bought them from, and i'm going to visit that place as soon as they'll let me. so now i just want to be around great danes all the time. i keep forgetting to tell the lady from yesterday that, since i'm looking for in and every chance to be around them, i would love to help out with them whenever she needs.. but i'm going to tell the rescue place people.. i will be glad to volunteer my time.

so i'm completely back into dog obsession mode.. and i don't know exactly why i left the thought of animal care as a profession for so many years, but i'm back on it now.. i took some career aptitude tests at ucf recently and i was looking for higher scores in all of these more typical areas i've been considering.. but they were just lacking, and the few that weren't i still wasn't that enthusiastic about.. but animal care was like 97%. the next highest was in the 70s. and i sort of overlooked it at first..but now i'm thinking that was one of the most obvious clues in history. hello melo. because as much as i love movies and books, i've never felt all that determined to work in movies or writing.. but animals are completely different. i guess i've never considered it to be "work"..but you get paid for it, so it must be. so now i have to change my major to zoology or some such thing. it's funny how we come full circle, my first career objective was to be a vet, back when i was little.. well there you go.