outkast was so cool just now on the american music awards.

so last night, after marianna and i went to see lost in translation (third time), she got a call from a boy telling her there was a party so we went, and there i met some of the coolest kids i've ever met in my life. it was the best time. dancing! to hey ya! and remixed bjork songs and new rock n roll and all this great stuff. kids who like to dance are a missed thing in my life. just goofy dance, "dance fights", mirror dancing.. it was great. the people were so goddamned nice, so welcoming, so OPEN.

does anyone remember JT? marianna and meghan brennon's friend. he was there, drunk and rambling about an overly dark existential play (..repetitive) over at rollins, a real mindfuck that was hilarious to hear described by an unsober kid who still wasn't over it.

the place was matt's, a skinny bowl-haired kid who was such a gracious host you wouldn't believe, spent an enormous amount of time apologizing and trying to help me clean poo of my shoes because his mom's shitzu shit (ha) everywhere a while before everyone realized it.

his roommate, miguel i think, is someone i've seen before, probably at school, he has a lovely curly fro, they played their recorded music on the computer and it's everything from cool techno to outrageous, funny rock, good times.

frank OWNED the dance, he went nuts, marianna might like him now.

alex came later and told us about the corruption of the law office he works at and told me about his horrible experience living out his fantasies and gave me a big hug when i left even though he didn't know me very well.

conrad, a friend of jill's as it turns out, told me all about alaska, he grew up there, got really perked up when he heard i was obsessed with alaska. we talked about how amazing the life of salmon is. and late-term abortions and adoption and birth control and china's overpopulation. he thought conrad from heart of darkness was spelled with a "k" but i don't think so.. first i thought he was a character in the book, but he's the damn author i now realize. joseph conrad, right? with a "c".

joey was incredibly nice, first i complimented him on his tie and then later in the... marijuana smoking room... we were at the center of this circle of chaos coming from these crazy people and we started talking together about them and then it got into jesus and gandhi and how all of us have this thing in common, we started as christians and abandoned it somewhere along the way, and we sat close and it was intimate and great. wait, before this i was overhearing him telling this story to marianna and lane (i don't have a story about lane, just that he is incredibly skinny and marianna likes him and he invited us), and it went like this: joey was delivering a pizza recently to a salon after hours and the women invited him in and offered him blowjobs a la classic porno storyline (!!), but he was caught offgaurd and declined but now regrets it a little, lol.. that's the most bizarre story you'll hear for a while. so then joey wants a drink and we go downstairs where it's quieter and talk about movies and he asks what movie i'd watch right now to make me all happy and i say singin in the rain and he says he hasn't seen the whole thing.. and i'm not sure if joey was just a really nice guy or if he was into me, but as much as i liked him i have this distraction over here, which is

phil. (there are two phils actually, the other one is a natural-red-head drug fiend, very high, cute sweet etc) but see this phil is sexy as all hell. and i told him this. he says hi randomly at me, a little while after he arrived and we met, and i say "yea, we met, you're kind of sexy, i was looking at you earlier" and he laughs, he's drunk, and i continue talking to conrad.. and later when joey and i are downstairs phil comes down and goes into the bathroom right next to us and comes out and i can't help but stare at him because he fucking looks like brian from queer as folk, the sexiest damn thing on tv.. and i tell him this too.. so i've conveniently started this great blatant honesty thing with phil, which is nice, and he just sort of laughs it off but doesn't run off so that's nice. phil is very good looking. ok so he talks with joey and i for a while and then we go outside and alex tells me about his law office and we leave soon after cuz it's 4 and marianna's tired.

so you like that? cuz i do. many many very smart, cool, interesting, kind, good looking boys paying attention to me. i'm sure they were all just being nice because i'm new, but dammit i feel like i've been to an orgy. you know that thing about girls.. the SATs would say: good conversation is to girls as sex is to boys. and the girls were great too. very laid back, very cool girls. and dancing! so. i had a great time. i hope to see much more of those people. i had a dream involving them all that night too.. but of course phil was the main character because he apparently liked me back and we were trying to find a room to get busy. ; ) it was fun. go, dreams! ok goodnight. sweet dreams.