i'm listening to the new deftones album.. i talked to jenn last night and it's funny, it's as if we've landed on the same menstrual cycle.. she's back into her old love pearl jam and here i am rekindling my old flame. i made this lovely desktop of assorted favorite old chino pictures, three of them in that great red shirt he always used to wear when he was skinny and probably coked up or something. i downloaded the "be quiet and drive" video. that's a lovely video. whoever recorded it messed up and made the audio late or early, i forget which, but other than that it was a wonderful reminiscing. i like this new album. i do. it's good. i even like "lucky you". now. the other songs i didn't know the names of were "when girls telephone boys", "battleaxe", and "bloody cape" - good song. i really like "anniversary of an uninteresting event". it's pretty. chino, you're pretty. sure he seems like a perfectly ordinary/boring, somewhat obnoxious fellow judging from the footage on the cd-rom, but hey, you can't sing like that, and about that, and not be on some level amazing. am i right or am i right or am i right? orami right? ahammiright? (my favorite line from groundhog day)

and now guess what i'm listening to! i finally downloaded it. "there is no if" by the cure.. yes alan.. frank's mentioning of saladfishman made me look over that again and they're nice lyrics and now that i'm a cure head i can appreciate it more. where did you come across this song?

i feel like i should be saying something more important..is there some dark, profound thing i can relay to you kind people?... i'm about to get ready for bed, exercise, read, and go to sleep.. life is ordinary and not dark or really important. dad lost his job on halloween and is still looking for a new one, so i guess that could soon get ugly and get him in jail again in time for the holidays, but i'm not spending too much time thinking about it. i'm spending a bit of time thinking about chino. and movies i just saw and am just about to see. and a paper due tuesday. and recent boy drama. love actually was a very great movie, it stays with you. i had this really sexy dream a month ago where i made out with brian lacey, so now i'm missing him and wish i could run into him at 7-11 again and this time get out of the car and talk to him. he showed up with marcus sobering in another dream i had over the summer where my family and i were running out of a city in mexico that i thought was about to be bombed my a nuclear weapon. hm.

7-11 is a hotbed. weeks ago.. i was sitting in the car waiting while my dad was in getting a money order.. and tyran donis walks out, glances at me, for a while, recognized me i'm sure, gets into his black pick-up truck with a dominos delivery thing on it, drives out of my life.. i think the breath was knocked out of me, i was frozen. that kid.

see. it hasn't really been 8 years of barren wasteland.